Wendy - Volunteer counsellor

I work as a volunteer counsellor within the Family Support Team, and my role is to offer support to patients, carers or bereaved family members of someone who is or has been under the hospice’s care.

I qualified as a counsellor 2 years ago and run my own private practise. I chose to volunteer for the hospice as not only did I want to gain experience working with grief and loss, but also because of my own personal experience of long-term terminal illness with my parents. Unfortunately, we didn’t have access to the compassionate and holistic care that Heart of Kent Hospice provides, and we all really struggled without support.

Providing my skillset to the hospice has taught me so much more about the care and services it offers - so I can spread that awareness and ensure others are supported on their own journey. It's a very fulfilling role for me personally.

Over the last year I have worked with lots of different people, but there’s one gentleman I won’t forget.

He had been caring for his dad for so long that he’d forgotten what it felt like to breathe. Caring is a role that often chooses you, and he was overwhelmed, exhausted, and unsure how to cope with the emotions that came with it. Together, we worked on recognising those feelings, staying regulated, and rebuilding a sense of self compassion.

The work was very impactive on him. He finally felt able to take a week’s holiday with friends - giving himself the rest he needed to continue caring with strength rather than depletion.

Many carers believe they shouldn’t need support because they’re not the one who is unwell. But actually, it can be just as difficult an experience and if you're not looking after yourself, you can't effectively look after others.

I don't think people realise how overwhelmed they've become; those feelings can be quite difficult. However, understanding, identifying and accepting them helps to find that balance between self-compassion and adequate care.

After our sessions concluded, my colleagues in the Family Support Team helped me refer him to other services available in the area, keeping that support going. I have built a great rapport and working relationship with team.

I love it here and really do look forward to my Tuesdays.

It has been a nice way to meet like-minded, kind and compassionate people. If you are thinking of volunteering, just go for it. Make the initial contact, read and explore the roles that the hospice has to offer and find a role that you feel you would enjoy. Or think about your skills and what’s personal to you. Because that will benefit the hospice and your life too.

Details of the patient have been modified to protect identity.